The Inbox

These are some of the messages currently in my inbox. These aren’t even the really good ones that I’ve deleted over the past several months, never thinking I’d be starting a blog about it. But here’s what I’m dealing with on a daily basis. And just as an aside, I’m leaving in all the typos and misspellings. It’s something all of us online daters come across on a very regular basis.

From Alberta Canada

“You’re hot.”

Gee, thanks. Let me just hop a plane to Canada so we can live happily ever after.

From neighboring town

“Hi you look cute. Check out my profile. Do you like a dominant/traditonal man? Do you have a instant messenger to talk further?”

This one intrigued me, so I did respond. My response: “Thanks for the note. I read your profile, and I guess I need some clarification on what you think traditional gender roles are. Are you looking for someone who will stay at home and have babies and cook and clean?”

His response: “Man in charge, head of household.”

Yeah, no thanks. Good luck with that one, buddy.

From Indianapolis

“what's your name ? do u live in indianapolis?”

Can you read? The second thing on my profile lists the name of the town I live in.

From neighboring town

“nice what to say”

I’m sorry, what? That was your opening line? I don’t understand. Did you take the nouns out of that sentence or something? Am I supposed to guess what you meant?

Getting Started

I’m 32 and single. I’ve been dating online off and on for about eight years; eight years since the end of my first and only long-term relationship.

I’ve had so many experiences that I want to share. Some of the things that happen to me and other singles who date online simply cannot be made up. They’re too unbelievable. I feel like I need an outlet sometimes, so I’ve decided to make an attempt to blog about them.

What gave me a real push to start this blog is I visited the blog of a potential suitor. He contacted me, I read his profile and the address to his blog was on it. It’s all about his experiences dating online. Other than the fact that his experiences are with women, we go through the same thing. I’ve always known online dating must be difficult for men as well, but until I saw it in print, I didn’t understand that men are going through much of the same thing women are when it comes to this form of dating. I think there are a lot of people out there feeling the same way, so I wanted to start a blog from a woman’s perspective, hoping that other singles out there will know they are not the only ones going through these crazy things.

I thought about starting the blog under an alias. I’m a little concerned about online security, but that’s not the real reason. It’s ironic and laughable that I’m about to open up this part of my life to my friends and family when I don’t even post on Facebook when I’m dating someone. I’ve almost stopped telling people altogether when I meet someone and start dating them for any length of time. Inevitably the comment is made, “So are you still dating that guy you told me about the last time we talked?” The answer is almost always, “No.” And then they want to know why, what happened, and I’m beginning to think there are several people in my life who are wondering if I’m the problem, if I’m the real reason I haven’t found someone yet. That may be, but that’s a topic for another day.

For now I’m excited about the potential of this. I hope it eventually gets to the point where there are other online singles following it, commenting, sharing and understanding that we’re not alone out there in Cyberland.